Feb 25

“I was probably about 13 years old, sitting in geography class. It was such a sunny day outside and I was bored out of my mind and I just remember thinking, goodness I'd love to be on top of a mountain right now.” - S.M.

This week, as I listened to my friend speak these words to me, it reminded me of an old dream I had. A dream I’d long forgotten. A dream no longer relevant.

My parents used to take us hiking as kids. But it wasn’t until my late teenage years it was something I considered doing it without being forced. When I was about 18, they took me on a hiking tour through the national parks of the USA. We wandered through the mountains and camped in the wilderness, eating refried beans and cornbread for dinner. When I needed some time to myself after the hiking was over for the day, I would find a large boulder and wistfully while away some time thinking about life’s deep questions.

Like…

”Will I meet any hot American girls this week?”

Come one, I was a teenage boy, did you really think I was having philosophical breakthroughs?

No. I wanted beautiful foreigners to fall in love with my cute British accent. None came to say hello to me on my rock. That’s ok though.

I kept sitting on my rock.

I was living the dream.

Really.

That was the dream.

I wanted my own rock. A rock as big as a boulder. One that I could sit on top of in my garden in England. I’m not kidding, I really wanted this! Somewhere to just sit alone, up above the landscape, and be by myself.

It sounds so strange to me now. But that was my dream. I also knew it was probably a dream I’d never attain. Rocks are heavy. Especially boulder sized ones. Where would I even get one that big? It would be a huge pain to move it to my garden. Even if could afford a rock that big. Which I couldn’t. I didn’t even have my own garden yet.

I don’t know exactly when that dream vanished. Probably when my real life became more interesting and rocky.

Before, I had only imagined one vision of my future. Life in London. The city was where the best jobs were. How could I be anywhere else? The wilderness was somewhere you went on holiday. The rest of my life would be spent at home or in an office, praying for a seat by a window. They were rarely answered. Maybe I should have gone to church more.

All I could imagine was finding some way to bring a small piece of the natural world into my home. My own personal boulder. To escape from urban life.

How differently things turned out for me.